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So as a novice monk, there are no direct rules around sexuality. But that isn’t actually true. Because part of being a novice monk is being a dharma teacher. And the rules there are…

  • Do not commit adultery, including sexual congress with a corpse, animal, or object.
  • Do not act as a go-between, for the purpose of sex or marriage, for a man and woman.
  • Do not give the appearance of a wrongdoing by going with a woman to a concealed place, or an open place, where one might speak to a woman with wicked words about unlawful sexual intercourse.

This is the part I am navigating. Part of this is really easy, part of this is not applicable to me at all, but part of this I am violating. Specifically, the dictionary definition of adultery has nothing to do with regard to consent; it is specific about a wife and marriage.

So it isn’t a problem at all – and my teacher digs polyamory and tells me to think in the spirit, the intent. But it is there and my mind dwells on it.

I love intimacy and can enjoy sex. But I am not by nature a sex-driven male. I like connecting with someone special and sex is a great way to do it. But I can also just not sex. Not attached (this is more of my bio than buddha)